


Admissions

by cybergirl614



Series: Fever and Pie [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angsty Schmoop, Awkward Kissing, Awkward Romance, Bickering, Brotherly Affection, Caring Castiel, Castiel and Dean in Love, Castiel in the Bunker, Dean Needs Castiel, Dean Needs to Use His Words, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Dean-Centric, Dean/Castiel - Freeform, Declarations Of Love, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Constipation, Fluff, Hurt Dean, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Slash, Love Confessions, M/M, Needy Dean, OTP Feels, Relationship Discussions, Schmoop, Shut Up Kiss, Slash, Sorry no pie, Teasing, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 14:06:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4022701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cybergirl614/pseuds/cybergirl614
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a few days of almost constant contact with Cas for healing purposes, and things haven't exactly gotten any less awkward for Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Admissions

Sam had been brooding for the last few days. He sighed, walking into the sitting area off the library where Dean and Castiel sat on the couch, the air seeming to thicken as Dean regarded him in a curious but vaguely confrontational manner.

“Uh, Dean?” Sam asked. 

 

“What?” 

“Look. I'm sorry I was such an ass about—” Sam gestured towards Dean and Cas. Dean immediately stiffened.

“Sam. Leave it, OK?” He cut in, his tone snappish.

 

“OK.” Sam sighed, shaking his head. “OK. You don’t want to talk about it. Fair enough…” 

 

Dean groaned. “Yeah, something like that.” 

“Sorry again. I’ll, uh, be out here, working on….research and stuff,” Sam replied. 

“Yeah, that’s good,” Dean nodded stiffly as Sam retreated through the door into the library. Dean finally relaxed until he realized belatedly, Cas was looking at him with a questioning expression. 

What was it now, he wondered. 

“I’ve noticed your reticence on the subject,” Castiel observed.

“On what subject?”

“On us. On what we are.”

 

“Oh. That…”

 

“I was under the impression you felt similarly.”

“I, uh, what?”

Castiel grew slightly red. “That you shared my…affections.”

“Oh. Yeah, uh, about that,” Dean cleared his throat slowly, the silence building to a nearly unbearable point. 

“You don’t?” Castiel’s voice fell, his face paling rapidly. The look of sheer disappointment in his eyes made Dean want to….well, kiss him, show him how wrong he was. Except he couldn't exactly do that, with Sam in the next room with an open door… Could he? 

“No, no, no, Cas,” Dean sputtered, looking for a way to simultaneously put words to the impossible mess of emotion and to save what little might remain of his pride. “I…you’ve been…great, these last few days. I don’t know how to uh, say thanks, I guess.” 

“Oh. My apologies if I have been presumptuous or—“

“Cas. No…I….” Dean tried to say something, anything, but the damn words wouldn’t come out. 

Cas had moved away from him on the couch, still keeping his hand in contact with Dean’s shoulder, but the touch was stiffer now, businesslike….

“God, I'm sorry. I really suck at this,” Dean tried again, scoffing at his own ineloquence, “But I don’t want to screw it up and lose what we have,” Dean offered, his voice so low it was nearly a whisper. 

Cas shifted silently, his expression growing bleak enough that Dean felt like something inside him was being wrenched out. 

“Not like that. Like….what we have now, with…how you’ve been helping me,” Dean added quietly, giving Cas a small smile. He couldn’t help himself, he awkwardly squeezed Cas’ arm. He normally would have been angry at himself for acting like a girl, he acknowledged vaguely, but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember why. 

 

Cas’ mouth fell open, then his face lit up in a hopeful smile.

“You do feel the same, then? Because, Dean, I’ve tried so many times to find a way to say this, but every time, I remember all the ways I’ve hurt you. I could never expect you to see me the way I do you.“

Dean couldn’t fight the impulse any longer. He wrapped an arm around Cas’ shoulders, pulling him close, grinning inches from his face. “Dude. Shut up and kiss me already.” 

There was a small surprised intake of breath and then Cas was pressed against him, all warmth and eagerness. Yet at once Castiel was careful; his fingers nestled in the hair at the back of Dean’s neck, simply caressing. 

Cas pulled back first to meet Dean’s searching gaze, blue eyes filled with light and wonder. Dean watched for a moment until he saw from the corner of his eye the silhouette of Sam ducking back out of the doorway, the strained “Oh!” ringing in Dean’s ears as Sam fled. 

“Shit,” Dean muttered, embarrassment making him flush as he tensed. 

Castiel’s expression changed to one of pleading. Dean saw as Cas’ hand guided his chin to face him again, his other hand falling to the small of Dean’s back where it worked in an easy circle, power flowing into him to diffuse the knot of tension that threatened to cause another spasm of pain from his still-mending wounds.

“You have no reason to be ashamed, unless you are ashamed of me,” Castiel breathed. 

“It’s not that, god, Cas, I—I need you, and you know that,” Dean muttered. “I—this whole thing, it’s new, it’s weird, and—“

 

He broke off for a moment, shaking his head vehemently when Cas’ face fell again. 

“What? You’re afraid of this? Of us?” Castiel asked, his voice taking on a sadness Dean didn’t think he’d heard in weeks. 

 

“Not like that. I mean…I’ve never done this before. It’s…I—I don’t know what it means.” 

 

“It changes nothing about you unless you want it to,” Castiel replied, lightly tracing the line of Dean’s jaw with his fingertips, apparently noticing the tiny shudder of sensation and emotion it elicited. “Further, although I suspect you don’t believe it, your humanity and your vulnerability make you exquisite and unique, Dean. I can see that in you. They’re beautiful, and I love you for everything you are.”


End file.
